Opening Up in Lockdown – Day 3 – What are you not saying?

Today I go a bit deeper into what’s been going on with me, how my anxiety seems to have developed from a more long-standing imposter syndrome as well as a useful tool that’s helped me gain some self-awareness. This has not only been pivotal in helping me start to take ownership over what’s going on with me, it’s incredibly useful for helping us own our positive traits and abilities too!

What feedback are you not using to your advantage and what are you not telling the world that might be holding you back?

Further reading:

Check out Action For Happiness and try their 10 day challenge and watch some great videos of how other people are trying to take positive action towards a happier life.

I’ve had a couple of people message me about trying my little task at the end of yesterday’s video – THANK YOU! I know it’s tough right now with all the restrictions but it’s as important as ever to reach out and be kind. Giving credit where it’s due might be just what a person needs to focus on the good things about themselves!

Can you remember what is was like in school? I can’t remember much of it but I do know I spent a lot of time trying to fit in. Can you imagine if we didn’t feel the need to conform and all felt able to talk about stuff right from the start – Can we encourage the next generation to be more like this ‘Stand Up Kid’.

Here’s a little visual of the Johari window for anyone interested. The idea is to keep growing our open window to become more aware of ourselves. To try and move what we can from our hidden window, and get feedback on some of the things in our blind window, in order to be able to grow and become more self aware and authentic. Remember this does not necessarily need to be the big stuff!

Tell me, what are you good at that you don’t talk about? What have you always wanted to try?! Make it real!

During today’s video you might have noticed me check my language when I said ‘I don’t take criticism well’. Definitive language can direct our thinking.

The book ‘Don’t Sleep, There Are Snakes’ helped to solidify this for me. As well as a fascinating story about an Amazonian tribe largely walled off from any other civilisation, it’s a great reminder about the importance of language in our experience of life and how we see ourselves in it. With no words for ‘worry’, no numbers or grammar as we know it, the Piraha people live for the moment in the only way they know how and are found to be inherently ‘happy’/content.

It fascinated me that we’ve come to accept language as something simply to communicate our thinking to others rather than something that can actually govern our thinking. Definitive language is something we all use, but when you define yourself as ‘a terrible cook’ rather than someone who ‘needs more practice’ what doors do you close for yourself?

Here’s a fab little article on Imposter Syndrome and 6 ways to start fighting back TODAY!

Big changes, good or bad, can bring about cognitive dissonance especially if it involves uncertainty or letting go of something important to us. This is a wonderfully written article about why it happens and how we can work on coping strategies.

A bit more information about what CBT actually is and how it can be used to help focus on handling unwanted anxious feelings.

Winston Churchill used to refer to his depression as a black dog. This video from the WHO organisation is useful to try and illustrate what living with depression might be like so we can all be more aware and try to be compassionate.

Toxic shame is a fairly modern term for an age old problem. This article has some insight into where it can come from and some of the ways it can manifest in later life.

Today has been, not just about recognising your vulnerability, but your potential too. This quote reminds me, when I’m caught up in one of those unhelpful scripts about myself, that it will pass and allow me to think from a different level about the situation.

It’s also an insight into the idea that we must sometimes go to those deeper levels to try and solve a problem for ourselves. An analogy might be that you find yourself sitting in a cold room. While you could shiver and hope to warm up eventually, the next level of thinking might be to search for the thermostat. Perhaps the level further may be to try and learn the skills to fix the heating system or deeper still to accept that it’s finally time to ask for some help and there is no shame whatsoever in that.